I started this blog two years ago with my then pending divorce as the central focus. Writing blogs has always been helpful my life’s ongoing learning process and as I noticed so many articles targeted for women, I wanted to share my own perspective since, well, for every heterosexual couple’s divorce, women aren’t the only ones going through it.

I’ve since then branched out my blog posts to include other aspects of my emotional life: mental health and race being two more recent topics.

That being said, this blog, originally titled “D is for Divorce” (and then “I am not my divorce”) has evolved into “I am not a blog”.

It should go without saying that I am not a blog. I’m not. I’m not my mental health, my past addictions, or my baggage. I am not my resume, my parent’s failure, or even my own. I am not a token, trophy, or trinket. I am not white. I am not black. I am not brown, yellow, green, purple, or polka dotted. 

I am not a label. But right now, labels are being attacked and defended like they’re our mothers and fathers.

With the recent polarizing events of the deaths of Alton Sterling and Philando Castile (#BlackLivesMatter #SayTheirNames) as well as the deaths of Dallas police officers (#BlueLivesMatter), during an election year where it (at this time) appears to be Clinton and Trump as the major candidates, many terrifying, eye-opening opinions and stances are being shared via social media and in person.

Some find it cowardly to “hide” behind a keyboard and fire off from behind a screen when there are wars being fought in our streets and around the world. I do not believe that. I believe that everyone has a voice and a degree of courage and strength inside of them that can only be unlocked, revealed, and unleashed by the owner. And that is one of the many reasons I write.

Although I’ve been working on spending more time away from internet portals, one of the things I will be doing more is writing, because I have a voice and maybe, just maybe, my mildly-viewed blog will spark one reader’s tentative spirit to stand up in the face of adversity to do what is necessary.

I am a Christian. 

I believe in God the Father, Jesus Christ the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

I am in a state of constant learning, listening, and evolution both in intellect and in faith.

I understand that faith-based discussions are not for everyone, but that does not change the fact that I believe in what I believe. 

But this is not about my “finding” God or being saved (with or without quotation marks, depending on who’s reading this).

This is about our current state as the society of the United States of America.

Some of the loudest voices are fueled hatred and anger. There is a great fear among many of us, and 2016 has been revealing itself as more than a test of our resilience, individually and collectively.

I’m not asking or hoping for a utopia. I’m not that naive. I’m definitely not stupid.

But what I hope for all of us is that our choices are driven by love, health, and respect. For others, ourselves, and our future.

Tears will be shed. More lives will be lost. And through the pain and suffering we must remember to love and respect our neighbors and ourselves. 

Murder is never the right answer. Whether you believe in a higher power or not, murder is never the right answer. It may feel like it, look like it, or even present itself as it, but it is not.

Anger comes from a place of frustration and fear  (among other things). And I’m not saying it isn’t warranted, because our feelings are always valid. It’s how we manifest those impulses that indicate how we choose to live our lives.

It’s difficult to connect (or even want to connect) with those that have shown they have no desire to listen. But these people need to be heard even more. For whatever reason, whatever they have gone through, they feel that they are not being heard without violence and causing someone else pain and suffering. These are the brothers and sisters, mothers and fathers, sons and daughters that need to be heard.

So take the time to listen. 

To yourself.

To your friends.

To your enemies.

To whatever God you believe in or being or thing you thank at the end of the day.

Just listen. 

Open yourself up and hear.

A lot has happened in the last 731 days since my divorce was finalized. But what’s more important is what I’m doing today to prepare for the next day, next week, next month, and next life.

I can’t predict the future for anyone, let alone myself, but I can tell you that each and everyday I make multiple attempts to live my life in a way that is driven by love and respect. In a way that I share openly and honestly, but I still take the time to listen. 

And God spoke all these words: 

“I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery. 

You shall have no other gods before me. 

You shall not make for yourself an image in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below. You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me, but showing love to a thousand generations of those who love me and keep my commandments.

You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God, for the Lord will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name.

Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is a sabbath to the Lord your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your male or female servant, nor your animals, nor any foreigner residing in your towns. For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.

Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.

You shall not murder.

You shall not commit adultery.

You shall not steal.

You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.

You shall not covet your neighbor’s house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male or female servant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.

Exodus 20:1‭-‬17 NIV



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