The first day of the first month of a brand new year. Of course it would evoke a spirit of new beginnings, rebirths, refocusing, and other attitudes in that vein. But you only get one New Year’s Day (in regards to the calendar) each year.
That’s a lot of pressure to put on yourself.
Why wait until January 1st to start something new? Why hold off until a specific date that your soul has no regard for? Why can’t you start anew on…June 6th, May 27th, October 3rd…
This New Year’s Eve was different for me. (I know, every New Year’s Eve is different, but stick with me on this one, ok?) And what’s crazy is that what sparked my realization of how much different this was (spoken: how much I realized I’ve changed/grown) was by losing.
I’m an Oklahoma Football fan. A big one. Arguably my favorite sports team to watch out of all ones I follow in pro or college. And last night we lost in the College Football Semi-Final game at the Orange Bowl to the #1 ranked Clemson Tigers after a scoreless second half, both of our running backs getting injured, and our quarterback as well.
But I digress.
It was the second loss the Sooners earned this season (but we won’t talk about that game…until next season’s Red River match up), but, like I said, this was different.
Obviously, my fandom has no direct affect on the outcome of the game, but last night, as we were still scoreless in the second half, 4 minutes into the 4th quarter and the Tigers were running away on their way to the Coaches trophy (please beat the Crimson Tide), I told myself exactly that, that it’s just a game. I watch it for entertainment. I follow for fun. And that was important because sometimes (okay, maybe more often than not) I take certain Sooner losses harder than others. (Exhibit A: loss to UT in 2013 which resulted in the demise of one of my favorite #BeatTexas t-shirts.)
With the way the last few weeks have been going, I really could have used a win last night. But that’s where I stopped myself. If OU had won, it wouldn’t be my win, for the same fact that I had mentioned earlier…
my fandom has no direct affect on the outcome of the game
And so I straightened myself out in my head.
I won big this year. I have some major successes and achievements to be proud of in 2015. And none of them occurred on January 1st.
I switched jobs twice last year. TWICE. From a job that liked to an occupation (and organization) that I loved to a planet alignment on a silver platter garnished with a baby unicorn (which implies that an elusive unicorn met another unicorn and they produced an even rarer baby unicorn).
I lost myself and felt lower than when I got divorced, but found myself and pulled myself out like a phoenix from the ashes (which is still on the list for future tattoos).
I uncovered a portion of my life that had been dormant since college, and unearthed even more than had been locked away in the (apparently) breakable safe I had forged when I was young. And I acknowledged and wholeheartedly faced these awakened demons with vigor and passion despite the daily beating they served me. And, oh yes, I got served.
But I don’t share this to brag or tell you how awesome this year was, because if I only shared that side I would be lying by way of withholding some truths.
I share this because I refused to wait for January 1st. I share this because New Year’s Day isn’t your only opportunity to start again, light a new spark, or fire up an engine that has been ignored.
Whenever you start is the best time to start. Whether you change everything and make a clean break to start elsewhere, change somethings and regroup, or just reset to rip a couple pages out and keep the important parts, starting can happen however you make it happen.
But that’s where the catch lies…
You need to make it happen yourself.
I’ll say it again, to start over, start again, or start anew…you need to make it happen yourself.
Yes, it’s easy to wait for the January 1st, New Year, New Me bus to come. It’s easy to just hang out, wallow in your own complaints, and wait for Superman or Wonder Woman to swoop in and save you.
Or you could walk your happy ass down the street a few blocks and change the scenery yourself.
So, I’m not starting 2016 with a resolution, but more of a proposition. I propose that I will recognize I have more control over myself than I have allowed myself to believe in recent years. That is not to say that I’m in control of everything, that would be a huge mistake on my part, because I am in no way in control of everything (or nearly as much as I think). But what I can control is myself (to an extent…I know there are involuntary physiological processes and…oh, you get what I’m saying). BUT. What I can control myself is that I will be better at recognizing, acknowledging, and more importantly, executing those actions (some impulsively, some strategically).
2015 was a year full of big wins and hard losses.
2016 is another set of moon phases, circling the sun, seasons, meals, beers, laughs, and tears.
So get out there and do what you do. Whenever you want. Just have fun, be safe, and get plenty of rest, because there are a lot of adventures to be had.
Happy New Year! And thank you for stopping by my blog. It means a lot. 🙂