Type O Positive

I got called out just over a week ago for not having written for quite some time after having posted on a somewhat regular basis. I confessed I had not been writing due to a lack of wanting to write, but more so because I was doing something I would much rather do-enjoying life and the company of others. A lot has happened in the two months since my last post, and I am ecstatic to report that I am happier than I have ever been. For the disclaimer similar to fine print at the bottom of the screen in those weight loss supplement commercials: Results not typical.

However, even though exactly what I’m living is something only I will go through, how I got there is by doing something that every single one of us is fully capable of. With Robin William’s death fresh on our minds and in our social media feeds, there has been plenty of discussion about mental health. One status shared,

A man died today. One that many will say was loved by many, if not by all. And yes, he will live on as a great celebrity, talent, comedian, artist, and friend. But what is the saddest thing to me is that, if he did pass by his own doing, as a suicide, he died in a state of depression, and that says to me that he felt alone.

Tell the people you love that you love them. Tell the people you miss that you miss them. Show them you care. Show them they are important to you and your life. Never let anyone go without letting them know how much they mean to you.

The world may not mourn your death like a celebrity’s, but it affects those closest to you just like any other person that passes.

May all that pass be at peace if they cannot find it here in this world.

As it was shared in “T Time,” I am a supporter of cultivating and tending to mental health. The Monday after my last post, I went in for that first appointment. I had anticipated a short appointment, a consultation, a battery of general questions to help the clinician determine how much treatment I actually needed. After some time I had left in a much lighter mood. Nothing I shared was uttered for the first time. I knew there were aspects of my divorce, my immediate reaction, and present behavior that were connected to specific past relationships and also to my own parents. What struck me as the most disturbing was, when sharing some information from my childhood, noticing the visibly disturbed reaction of the professional that, to my understanding, was there to be an objective anchor for me and should, in part, be the composed party in the room. When you can throw a curve ball to a licensed professional in your initial appointment, it only makes you feel worse for having lived with that fact for as long as you have.

Nonetheless, I left the session relieved. A couple days later I was able to spend some time with a friend from college, and having that opportunity to refresh and relax with some hometown comfort was even better for me than talking to the mental health professional with whom I have no prior history.

At the end of that week, something happened. The start of something great. And the only reason I was able to see it, was because I remained open to what was around me. I did not dwell in “What Ifs?” or replaying ways things could have happened. I enjoy my life as much as I can. I remain open and positive. Type O Positive.

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